Untouched Dandelion

I am a person, I am a female, and I can be identified by many different titles. I am a mother, a whovian, a brony, a chef, pretend bilinguist, grammar Nazi, quiet atheist, book enthusiast, energetic procrastinator, hopeful wanderer, badot, blottesque painter, an easily gruntled person, queer, and above all, human. If you've made it this far through my description then I already like you. Some days I laugh, some days I cry, and some days I'm overly gushy with my child Achaius Craig; my problems are yours as yours can be mine, I'm open about everything and love to help people suffering in their personhood for whatever reason. Clearly I have problems with run-on sentences though.

Secretary Confession #5

I want to have a major nuclear meltdown every time the scanner stops working and the whole system needs to be restarted. It‘s ALWAYS when I need to scan a large number of important documents that need to be submitted ASAP. Damn this piece of shit scanner to the 10th circle of hel!!!!

I have a suspicion the angry anon that keeps sending me hate is the same person. I‘d turn off anonymous if I could from my phone but all well.

Anonymous said: Bronies is a term for GUYS who love my little ponies dickwad. As in BROS. so much you know you fucking weirdo

Well this is incredibly rude. Once again someone is too afraid to directly talk to me and shamefully hides behind anon, absolutely pathetic.
Let me clear this up for you, “brony“ is not limited to exclusively males. Just because it has “bro“ in the name does not exclude females, you are gender assigning a term given to fans of MLP. Some female bronies prefer to be called “pegasisters“ but honestly I see no reason to gender assign a title given to fans of a fandom and I prefer the term “brony” much better. Plus, there os no holy written rule that “brony” specifically refers to a male fan; yes the stereotype is that “bronies” are male fans but there are constantly exceptions to stereotypes, which includes EVERY stereotype from racial to fandom stereotypes. It is my choice to call myself a brony and there really isn’t anybody whom can tell me otherwise, especially not some shit stain anonymous hater. *terribly sorry for the colourful language there but I felt it was the best choice of words*

I’d also like to point out that what you are doing can technically be considered bullying, you came here and insulted me for really no reason, whilst having difficulty forming coherent sentences might I add. By all means, if you have issues with what fandom I am a part of or my choice of words then come off anonymous and we can have a nice discussion :) Unless of course you HAVE to hide behind anonymous, in which case I will assume you are the equivalent of a puppy whose bark is worse than their bite; nothing to back you up and no guts to come forward. You’re a good example of what’s wrong with “haters” and more so what’s wrong with too many people today. In more simple words you might understand: come at me, bro. P.S. To all the anonymous haters, it has no effect on my day to day life. I’m not sure what you intend to accomplish but I assure you I am still happily living as a brony despite the countless idiotic hate messages I receive. Tl;dr Just try and stop me, bitch.

Today I was looking after my cousins 6 year old son, Ethan. Ethan adores My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and was wearing his MLP hat and t-shirt so I wore my Rainbow Dash sweater; he was over the moon happy to be hanging out with another brony! We talked about our favourite episodes and characters and watched MLP for a bit. Later on Ethan, Achaius (my 1 year old son), and I took a trip downtown and it was all great until we were leaving a local comic book/merchandise store. Some pieces of shit teenagers/young adults started talking about MLP being gay and stupid when they saw us, so I tried to lead Ethan away from the group of low life’s. Apparently they took this as an opportunity and started following us screaming about me being a bad mother, MLP being gay, MLP being for retards, bronies fucking horses, all bronies being perverts, etc. All the yelling caused Achaius to start crying in my arms, Ethan was so frightened he started crying and clinging onto me. The douchebags kept following us and harassing us so I led Ethan into the mall as fast as I could and started calling the police. I had to flag down a security guard as I could see the miscreants making their way into the mall. However, they turned tail and ran once they spotted the security guard fast approaching. Poor Ethan was so scared he didn’t want to go outside because “the bad boys might hurt us” (his exact words). Internet, this is not okay. It is not okay to harass anybody for being a brony, ESPECIALLY NOT A 6 YEAR OLD BOY! I am thoroughly disgusted by all the haters; yes, I stick up for my fellow bronies, I am a proud brony! A 6 year old understands more about being a decent person and friendship than most people I know, especially all the people whom look down on us. Shame on you. Shame on you assholes out there whom harassed a little boy solely because he wore a My Little Pony hat and shirt. Fuck all you “haters” whom think it’s okay to act like this! You’re scum!!

Changing my kid is a lot less like a Huggies happy bonding-time commercial and more like trying to put a diaper on a bag of cats.

Secretary Confession #4

Of course we‘re going to be calling you if you sign up on our website! It clearly asks for your info and states you will be contacted, or you can opt out from all communications! Jesus Christ, don‘t get mad at me when we‘re calling you trying to set up an appointment! By signing up and allowing communications you literally asked for us to call you!! I‘m just doing my goddam job, bitch.

Secretary Confession #3

I work at an immigration lawyer‘s office and there‘s this random piano that sits in one of the rooms. When repair technicians come in for the computer or something, making it so I can‘t really work for a few minutes, I always get the urge to just go play Bohemian Rhapsody on said piano (yes, I can play it perfectly by memory). Should I do it, guys?

Secretary Confession #2

To the gentlemen yelling and swearing at me over the phone,
I am the secretary here, I am only calling as a follow up to ask why we have not received your rent yet. I am not the one responsible for evicting you, if it‘s such an issue you should have brought us rent on time. Calling me names and swearing will not unevict you and let me tell you, if I wasn‘t in a professional position, I would tear you a new one so fast you‘d have whiplash AND a new asshole. Stop giving me your excuses as to why we have not received payment, even if I believed them I have no say in the matter.
Perhaps I need to put this in words more your speed, dear tenant,
WHERE‘S OUR MONEY, BITCH?!

Why I’m Good at Acting Like a Terrible Person #1

I wanted to go see The Fault In Our Stars (I still haven’t seen it though FYI); I’ve been a John Green fan since the early days. I asked my mum to come with me after she read the book because:
A) I don’t like going to movies alone. Especially when I know I’ll cry, I don’t wanna be the fool crying alone.
B) I wanted her to be able to read the book and appreciate it before seeing the movie in case the movie was kind of messed up from the book or a bit confusing for those whom have never read it (I’m looking at you Twilight and Hunger Games).
Anyway, my mum was skeptical and doesn’t like reading really sad books so she asked me how it ended. I didn’t want to tell her how it ended (obviously!! I never intentionally tell spoilers) and she’s really gullible so instead I told her it had a very pleasant ending - one that would surprise you and make you feel good about the resolution. To be honest I don’t think I exactly lied… At least not about every character.
So fast forward a day because mum reads decently fast, I walk into the house after work and all I hear is: “You little shit head!!!” I knew exactly what was coming, but I of course couldn’t help but feign innocence. “Who? Me??” I called out sweetly. My mum came marching at me, raccoon makeup running down her face, and the most murderous eyes I’ve ever witnessed in my life. “You told me it was a happy ending!!! I kept expecting it to get better!!! What the hell you little shit??? This was worse than the Anna and Hans shit you told me!!!!”
Honestly, I couldn’t help but giggle because I too went through the emotional ups and downs of The Fault In Out Stars. And that’s why my mum finally killed me.

Nobody can even comprehend how happy I am right now… Yesterday my phone’s SD card, that is barely a year old, fucked up and I lost everything on it. Everything being every single picture and video of Achaius from newborn to almost 1 year old; about 600+ pictures at least. My brother and his girlfriend tried every program they could to restore it, but nothing was working so far. I was heartbroken, literally crying upset. There were so many great pictures and videos on my phone of Achaius and I would never see them again. Why hadn’t I uploaded them to my computer before this crap happened? My computer isn’t working at the moment. Anyway, I felt awful the entire day and just wanted to turn back time when suddenly I thought of something. I had synced my phones pictures to my mobile Facebook, could they be in there?? They were!!!! I spent an hour going through every synced picture and uploading it to my Facebook. I don’t even care that it will bother my friends, I just need my baby’s pictures!!! It worked and now I have every single picture I lost of my sweet baby boy back! I don’t have any of the adorable videos but I’m just happy to have something back. And that something is 600+ pictures!!!! I couldn’t even control myself i started crying when they finished uploading!! I thought the memories had been lost forever